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I remember the first time it happened. I shared with the family and marriage pastor at our church an idea I thought would benefit the church and his ministry. He said it was a great idea and then hemmed and hawed for a couple minutes. In my confusion, I asked him if he was just being nice saying he liked the idea. He wasn't going to hurt my feelings. I gave him permission to speak freely and asked what he was really thinking. His reply went something like this:

Well...I really like the idea...insert long pause...and I really see the value and the need...but...really long pause...(my mind was reeling over what he could possibly say!!) the thing is...I know this is terrible to say, but....I just don't have the time to take on one more thing right now. 

And then he almost visibly flinched to await my response. 

"Oh, I said, well, I was going to do it, but if you there is a reason you would rather someone else handle it I can find someone you trust."

In that moment I thought maybe he just didn't trust me to run an event, but when the visible relief took over his entire body and his eyebrows went up, I knew it had to be something else. 

"Are you serious? You want to do this yourself? You aren't asking me to do it?"

As the conversation went on I learned a few things that you should know:

• People ask pastors and ministry leaders to do things all the time and don't even offer to serve!!
• People are offended when leadership doesn't implement their idea, EVEN IF they aren't willing to put in any time themselves! 

It is many years later and we travel full time visiting churches across the country and it seems not much has changed in Christian America as far as church goers seeking an experience for themselves and not really wanting to participate themselves. 

I do not write this to condemn the world of Christians who camp here, but I implore you, dearest reader, to not be one of them. 

And so I will encourage all of us to walk worthy and at the very least, do not be a church leech. 

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This post was written by Nickole Perry, co-founder and Director of Operations at Cedar Creek Ministries and host of the Church Royalty Podcast. 

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